I love black thongs
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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