I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
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