Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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