...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize