Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize