I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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