Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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