I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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