If i could tip my vagina, i would.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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