You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
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so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
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Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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