I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize