Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize