I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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