in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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