I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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