HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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