I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize