I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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