Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize