Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize