Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize