Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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