it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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