Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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