look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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