i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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