Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
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and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
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I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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