i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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