so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize