Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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