how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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