i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize