Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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