i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize