I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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