We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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