I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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