Ambien. No doubt about it.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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