Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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