Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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