If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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