Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize