So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
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I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
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Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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