I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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