got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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