Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Pants are for mortals
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize