Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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