I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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