Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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