Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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